More Trouble With Wisdom Teeth
by RedAlert98
Summary: "I knew it! The Illuminati is behind this, they have been the whole time!" - It's Wally's turn for his wisdom teeth, and he just won't shut up...those cats are certainly out of the bag. Rated T for safety, Funny, Friendship, No Slash
Dick was staying at Wally's place for the weekend before he left for England on Monday; it was just bad luck that Mrs. West had scheduled Wally's wisdom teeth removal for that Saturday.

Regardless, Dick had decided to tag along, not only because it would be funny, but because he knew Wally would be running at the mouth; running at the mouth with no filter, that is.

Since they'd finished the procedure and Wally had woken up enough to walk, his mom and one of the assistants were on each side of Wally, walking him to their car.

"Are...are we - stealing a car?" Wally thickly asked around the gauze, looking dazed.

"Yep, stealing a car," Dick said, trying not to laugh at the look on his friend's face.

"But...with mom here?" Wally loudly whispered back to Dick, scandalized as he was helped into the backseat by the women.

"Oh ya; she's driving," Dick continued, getting into the backseat as well. Wally gave his mother a look of disbelief, exclaiming, "Mom!"

Wally was holding two icepacks to his cheeks, leaning back against the headrest as they started driving. His head gradually sorta fell to the side; the only thing that seemed interesting enough to look at was his best friend, so Wally stared at him for a while.

Dick didn't really mind, but when he itched the corner of his eye, Wally must have thought that he was wiping away a tear because Dick was suddenly pulled into a tight hug.

"Hey man, it's okay, I'm HERE for you," Wally told him, patting the back of Dick's head soothingly, "You're too precious for this world!"

Wally held Dick for a good few minutes, saying comforting things and pretty much petting him.

"You're my best friend in the world - my buddy, my bff, amigo, compadre, partner in crime, my pal, my favorite companion, my brother from another mother, my bro - you're not ALONE in this life, do you hear me?!"

Wally's mom was shaking from silent laughter in the front seat, and Dick was mentally cursing himself for sitting in the backseat.

"Are you okay? I got you, it's okay, c'mere. Look man, we're on the same team, okay?" Wally said, still embracing his friend.

"Wildcats?" Dick asked sarcastically,

"EXACTLY!" Wally exclaimed, finally releasing the hug.

"Hey," Mrs. West called to the backseat, "If you guys see a McDonalds or something like it, we'll stop and get a milkshake for Wally."

This apparently was not something Wally wanted to hear, for he started moaning, "Nooo noooooo, that'll bring all the boys to the yard, I don't want all the boys to come to the yard!"

Dick had a hand clamped over his mouth to try and silence his laughter, which Wally mistook for something else.

"Dude are you gonna hurl? Do it over there man, keep it away from me."

The moving scenery outside the window seemed to confuse Wally further. "How...did we get here? Where are we going? Why did we steal this car?"

"Honey, this is our car, and we're going home," his mom said.

There was silence in the backseat for a moment, before Wally exclaimed, "But why did we steal our car? Oh! Hey, Dick, remember that one time we stole - "

"Borrowed, borrowed without permission, Wally! And yes, I remember, no need to repeat it!" Dick cut him off, nervously glancing at the front seat.

Wally then dropped the ice packs on the seat and started feeling his cheeks. "Mom, my face is gone."

"Well put the ice packs back on, and it'll come back," she reassured him.

"They're RED." he stated, looking at the icepacks, mistrustful.

"Dude, they're blue, now put them back on your stoned face," Dick replied, smirking and thoroughly amused.

Wally sighed melodramatically, but complied.

"Wha - what are you doing," Wally asked Dick, who was on his phone.

"Texting Roy," Dick told him, grinning.

"Roy? Roy...ROY! Oh that was a dirty trick he did last week, with the pizza and that computer game and the cops and just that whole -"

"O - kay, Wally, you know what thats a fun story for another time," Dick quickly stopped the tirade...Mrs. West was raising her eyebrows at him in the mirror.

"I mean that was a cruel joke," Wally still continued, while Dick faceplamed, "We should to something just as mean, like change the lock on his apartment or something. Ha! That'll show him. Hey was that Russian you were swearing in that night? I need to learn a few of those, would come in handy, you know?"

"Hey Wally, how about you play around on your phone?" Dick desperately suggested. Wally was letting so many cats out of the bag, there'd be none left in it by the end of the drive.

"Oh, okay cool!" Wally exclaimed, as Dick handed him his unlocked phone.

There were maybe two minutes of golden silence as Wally stared at whatever he was doing on his phone, until...

"I...I'm confused," he said.

Dick looked at Wally's phone.

"Dude, you don't go reading our text message history when you're skunked!"

"So - rrrry!" Wally dramatically apologized, pouting at being yelled at. Sighing, he looked out the window. "I wanna be friends with someone famous."

Dick leaned his head back, feeling 100000000000% done.

"Uh, Wally?" he asked.

"Ya?" the redhead replied, turning to look at his friend.

Dick didn't say anything, and tried to let Wally come to his own conclusion. They ended up just staring at each other, not blinking, for a full 30 seconds.

"OHHH!" Wally realized suddenly. "Well you don't count."

"Well, apparently I count enough for you to be able to sell my autographed pictures on ebay," Dick retorted.

"Sorry, what?!" Wally's mom exclaimed from the front seat.

"Gimme my phone back," Wally whined.

"Stay off the text messages," Dick warned, handing it back to him.

Apparently Wally went to look at his photos, which proved...interesting.

"I have a mustache?!" he exclaimed, then felt his whole face frantically. Dick looked at the phone screen.

Wally had pulled up a picture of the two of them; Wally was indeed wearing a fake mustache along with a sombrero, and Dick was wearing red and blue 3D movie glasses, along with a frog stocking cap with drawstrings.

"Where's my mustache?! Someone shaved it, off, who shaved it off?" Wally frantically said, "I knew it! The Illuminati is behind this, they have been the whole time!"

"Honey, calm down," his mom told him.

"But mom!"

"Hey Wally, look, a purple tiger!" Dick said, pointing out the window to try and distract him.

Gasping loudly, Wally stared out the window and shouted, "Where?!"

"Just keep looking," Dick instructed. This was exhausting.

Speaking of tigers...

"Dude, you remember that one time we took the mascots costumes at that one game and did a dance off -"

"Go back to your phone, Wally," Dick sighed. This was just painful. Weren't they almost there yet?

Dick's cellphone suddenly started ringing, and when he answered it...

"Dude...you're phone's ringing..." he heard Wally say...from the other end of the call, and the other side of the backseat. He looked at the redhead, who had his phone up to his ear.

"Gimme that," Dick snapped at him, confiscating the phone.

"My foot's running away!" Wally complained suddenly...

To stop the madness, the motormouth, and to make sure no more cats left the friggin bag, Dick realized that there was only one thing they could do...he turned the soundtrack on from his phone...

*15 minutes later * ...

 _"Let's make sure that we get the rebound - 'Cause when we get it then the crowd will go wild! A second chance, gotta grab it and go, and maybe this time we'll hit the right nooootes -_ "

Dick and Wally were singing from the backseat - what an effective way to keep Wally occupied...

 _"Wait a minute, it's not the time or place,_

 _Wait a minute, Get my head in the game -_

 _Wait a minute, Get my head in the game -_

 _Wait a minute - Wait a minute,_

 _I gotta, Get my, get my head in the game_

 _You gotta Get'cha, get'cha, get'cha, get'cha head in the game!"_

"Dude, it's like that one time at Walmart -"

"Wally, Shut up!"

* * *

Shoutout to FangirlingIsAnAddiction - haha what a great username XD booyah ;)

Oh and for all the people wondering if I went loopy - basically, my reaction was LET. ME. SLEEP. so no, I didn't go loopy, lol.

Hope you liked the reference to Walmart Wildcats!

Well this was fun! 40TH STORY THIS IS CAUSE FOR CELEBRATION WHOO!

I'm currently behind the controls of this crazy train, so all aboard who's coming aboard!


End file.
